Tearing Down The Idols of Power and Control

The idols of power and comfort destroy homes, businesses, and hearts. They convince people to compete for recognition and worry about tomorrow. These idols are not biased to gender, age, or social status. Everyone is inclined to worship power and control.

Merriam-Webster defines, “power” and “control” as: 

“...possession of control, authority, or influence over others” (emphasis mine).

“To reduce the incidence or severity of especially to innocuous levels.

An “idol” is, “an object of extreme devotion.” 

Thus, from a literal (English) standpoint, the idol of power refers to someone who is devoted to possession of control, authority, or influence over others. A power idol is similar to, but differs from a control idol in the sense that power has to do with people whereas control relates to circumstances or incidents. The Apostle Paul’s most succinct statement on idolatry comes from Colossians 3:5 (ESV):

5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 

Paul equates covetousness to idolatry.  Covetousness comes from the Greek word, πλεονεξία. HELPS Word-studies defines pleoneskia as: 

#4124 pleoneksía (a feminine noun derived from 4119 /pleíōn, "numerically more" and 2192 /éxō, "have") – properly, the desire for more (things), i.e. lusting for a greater number of temporal things that go beyond what God determines is eternally best (beyond His preferred-will, cf. 2307 /thélēma); covetousness (coveting).

Similarly, Eric Geiger defines power and control idols in terms of “longings” (of the heart).

1. Power: a longing for influence or recognition

2. Control: a longing to have everything go according to my plan

Geiger’s examples of power and comfort idols offer a helpful distinction:

A person with a power idol wants the bigger salary, not because of the money, but because of the status, the money can offer. A person with control as an idol wants the bigger salary to save more money to eliminate uncertainty and gain more assurance for the future.

The fruits of power idolatry are often perfectionism and drivenness. One participant in one of my workshops confessed she was sexually assaulted as a young adult and turned her anger inward, which manifested in perfectionism and drivenness. “I just had to be the best at everything and excelled at everything because failure was not an option.” She was not in power in that traumatic moment and spent the next decade in “extreme devotion” to power. Power became her obsession. Accomplishment and status became her fixation from her initial wound of sadness and loss (of innocence). 

The emotional byproducts of power and control idolatry manifest in fear of others and a relentless obsession for status, competition, and success. The more an individual worships control of others and circumstances, the more he or she feels out of control and angry. Control is an illusion that cannot be grasped.

Parenting provides a tremendous opportunity to worship control. Author of Parenting, Dr. Paul Tripp explains the deception of control idolatry and three gospel-centered reasons to repent from the idol of control:

1. There's no situation that isn't under control because Christ rules over all things for the sake of the church (Ephesians 1:22).

2. Not only is the situation under control, but God is at work in it doing the good that he has promised to do (Romans 8:28). So I don't need to control my maturing child's every desire, thought, and action. In each situation, he or she is under the sovereign control of Christ, who is accomplishing what I cannot.

3. I need to remember that the goal of my parenting isn't to conform my children to my image but to work so that they're conformed to the image of Christ. My goal isn't to clone my tastes, opinions, and habits within my kids. I'm not looking for my image in them; I long to see Christ's.

A Senior Officer Free from Control

In 2018 a senior Naval officer signed up for a “Freedom Appointment” based on the Bondage Breaker. This session lasted roughly 18 hours, the longest session the facilitators had ever led. The major outcome of this session was freedom from the idols of approval and comfort. It had to do with relinquishing control by exposing his darkest secrets and seeking God’s approval over his wife’s.

What better way for me to allow God to simultaneously destroy the idols of approval and control in my life than to tell these things (and everything in between) to my wife? To be clear, this was not my idea, nor my desire. I believed God desired restoration and reconciliation for my marriage (that my wife didn’t even know was broken yet), but I did not trust that my wife would choose to see it that way or that she would even give it a chance. Why should she? I was about to give her every reason to leave me and take our three beautiful children with her.

“That doesn’t matter,” God told me. “Your wife’s decision is hers to make. You cannot control it. I will not promise you this will end the way you want it to. I do promise you that all you need is Me. All you will ever need is Me. You don’t need your wife. You don’t need your children. You don’t need anything or anyone except Me. Do you believe that? Do you trust Me?”

By his own testimony, this man experienced “freedom through surrender.” Once he surrendered the control trying to cover up his poor decisions regarding his marriage, he experienced freedom from living for his wife’s approval and trying to control all situations in his life.

In sum, the idol of power is rooted in the deception that “I am more important than others” whereas the idol of control is rooted in the deception that “I can control others or circumstances.” 

The Good News

The gospel frees the believer from the worship of power and control by reminding them that all needs are met in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 ESV is clear:

19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

The gospel is a constant reminder that there is no need to pursue recognition or the temptation to be right. The gospel is a constant reminder that God is in control. Tim Chester lists four liberating truths in regards to idolatry.

1. God is great – so we don’t have to be in control (emphasis mine)

2. God is glorious – so we don’t have to fear others

3. God is good – so we don’t have to look elsewhere

4. God is gracious – so we don’t have to prove ourselves (emphasis mine)

The antidote for the idol of Power

Colossians 3:12 ESV

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

James 4:6 ESV

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Proverbs 11:2 ESV 

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.

Ephesians 4:2 ESV 

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,

James 4:10 ESV 

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

1 Peter 5:6 ESV

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,

Luke 14:11 ESV

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

The antidote for the idol of Control

Matthew 6:34 ESV

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Philippians 4:6-7 ESV 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:28 ESV 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Proverbs 19:21 ESV

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

The Idol of Approval Destroys Servanthood

Sometimes I go back (way back) and check my text messages...  Here's a good one that depicts the insidiousness of Idolatry; namely, the pursuit of approval.

Context: I helped a co-worker work through a seemingly bottomless pit of his marriage.  He had secrets that had been hidden for nearly a decade.  After he had been set free from the bondage of his fear of shame and guilt, he and his wife decided to renew their vows.  He called me one day and told me he wanted to renew his vows and he wanted me there.  I was ecstatic!  The night before the ceremony I sent him a text: (*names protected)...

Me: Bra, how long you been married? 3:20 AMFriend : 15 blessed years, my brother. 3:21 AMMe: sweet. i'm wrapping up the script. do you have VOWS. or do you want me to supply... 3:21 AMFriend : bro....everything is already taken care of....Pastor ___ is already taking care of the ceremony....we just wanted you and Janette to enjoy yourselves, as our friends. No stress. 3:28 AMMe: oops. I thought you asked me to do it for ya'll. i sent it to your email. 3:31 AMFriend : Bro....I am soooo sorry. I apologize for any miscommunication. WIFE and I seriously thought about you actually doing the ceremony, but we decided that we would like it better for you and Janette to enjoy it TOGETHER, holding hands in the audience, celebrating with us. 3:36 AMMe: no worries bro! Jn8:29 baby! thanks for thinking of us holding hands. 3:38 AMMe: just consider that script my love letter to both of you! 3:38 AMFriend : I love you too, my brother! 3:39 AMMe: chee hoo! see you tomorrow bright and early. 3:40 AM

What is hidden here is the fact that I sent the email after he had already told me I wasn’t conducting the ceremony!  I sent it in a hurtful state. C'mon RBAR!

And then the voice of God became so clear to me.  I could hear God saying, “Ryan.  I wanted to show you your motives for writing that script.  It wasn’t for me.  You wrote that script in order to be affirmed by your friends and validated by the guests.  Your pride is hindering your joy and praising of Pastor ___. Your pursuit of approval and power is robbing you of your joy.  Now go and sin no more.

From that moment on, I was set free from doing things for this couple with false motives.  Before anything, I could put my motives in check, ensure that my objective was to please the father, then execute whatever it was that I was doing.  It is so good to be free from needing to be affirmed.  It is so blessed to find my joy in the Lord and in Him alone.

My Olympic Idolatry

I used my time poorly this week for sure- watching way too much Olympics. Thank you Father for your forgiveness of my idolatry.

This is a good segway for me to explain how I understand biblical confession and how it works in my daily life.

Confession Explained

Root Causes of Porn Addiction

Many of us have delved into pornography. For some of us, curiosity turned into bondage that led to many other fruits. What is the root cause of pornography use/abuse? It's deception and a type of idolatry that must be exposed.

Who Is Your Savior? Who do you Worship?

I met a someone today who told me, "I don't worship Jesus, God or any of that.  My savior is my Father.  He made me and he's my Lord and Savior.  My Jesus."  I thought to myself, what happens when your savior sins against you, falls short of a promise, or dies?

The initial confession that "Dad is God" caught me off guard because I had never heard that before.  But the reality is, I hear that every day, just in other ways.

When people put their joy in something, then that "thing" then becomes their god; that which they go to for fulfillment, happiness and joy.  It is the thing that knocks the living and true God off as #1 in your heart.  This is idolatry and it is to be squashed in the life of the Believer.  Colossians 3:5-6 says:

Put to death what is earthly in you, sexual immorality, impurity, evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.

 What a list!  It captures everything in my heart that has become idolatrous.  Admittedly, I struggle with making an idol out of my wife, children, work, hobbies, friends, and opinions of others.  When I think to myself, "I need my wife to stop disagreeing with me."  Let's direct that statement.  Because I believe I "need" my wife to do X, I inadvertently reject the fact that God is my only need (Philippians 4:19).  God immediately takes second place in my life and I live for my wife refraining from X and consistently and neatly executing Y.  She has become the God that I worship and go to for fulfillment.

I confess that I make gods out of my children.  When I think to myself, "I need my kid to do what I say right away, all the way and with a happy heart every time" then I invert entry reject the fact that God is my only need.  That he supplies all my needs according to his riches and glory (Philippians 4:19).  But I reject the lie that I "need" anything from my kids in order to have joy and peace.  I accept the truth that God is all I need.

Here's the shocking truth.  I NEED NOTHING FROM OTHER PEOPLE.  People will sin against me and they have the freedom to do so.  So, I pray that God help me reject the life that I "need" anything from anyone.  If what I need is not God, then I don't "need" it.  Furthermore, I will never be held accountable for the actions and choices of others.  Therefore, my prayers and examination will be directed towards myself.  I won't pray, "Lord I need my wife to stop doing X and start doing Y" but rather, "Lord, I need you. And your word promises you alone supply all my needs.  So I claim and stand on that truth today.  I believe, but help my unbelief.  Help me to stop making an idol out of my wife and children.  Amen."