How Do I Know if I Have Forgiven Someone?

FACT: If you can read this post, you have had people in your life you had to forgive.  That is indisputable.  The question then is, how do you know when you have forgiven them?  Here's my short answer: Do you now see them through God's eyes or do you see them through yours.  For instance, if someone stole from you, and you believe you have forgiven them, do you now see them as a broken person who gave themself over to a temptation to steal?  Or do you see them as snake who crossed you?  The former would indicate that you see them through God's eyes whereas the latter shows you still see them through yoru fleshly eyes; indicating that you have not forgiven them and you still harbor bitterness against them.

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies.  The false god of bitterness promises happiness and a settled heart, but it never delivers.  In fact, bitterness produces anger, which turns in to rage, which turns into the breaking of things and in some cases the punching of faces.

Nobody just "goes red" all of a sudden.  Rage and a sense of "boiling blood" is simply a manifestation of unsettled bitterness in the heart.  I've had the privilege of teaching "Anger Management" class for the past eight ears and it wasn't until recently where I stopped using that phrase "Anger Management."  The problem with that term is treading anger is just like treating a headache and overlooking the tumor, which is causing the headache.

Forget anger management; it's all about targeting the evil roots that manifest into the fruit of anger and rage.  The vast majority of anger issues (if not all) are tied back to bitterness.  Someone, somewhere has hurt you and yoru bitterness, which you keep hidden in a dark place where nobody can see is growing deep roots that at times rears its ugly head in forms of displacement (taking out your frustration on innocent people) and deflection (blaming others for your problems) just to name a few.

Bitterness is an EVIL ROOT that feeds fruits of anger and rage.

TIP: Here's how you kill a root:
1) Go to the hardware store (Local Church)
2) Tell the worker you need a shovel and some help (Community)
3) Dig all those roots up (Confession)
4) Keep the roots exposed in the sun (Repentance)
5) Maintain the yard so those roots don't grow back (life in community)

Hebrews 12:15 says this about the EVIL root of BITTERNESS...

New International Version
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

New Living Translation
Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.


English Standard Version
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;


Berean Study Bible
Be careful that no one falls short of the grace of God, so that no root of bitterness will spring up to cause trouble and defile many.


Berean Literal Bible
observing lest any failing from the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up, should trouble you and by this, the many might be defiled,


New American Standard Bible 
See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;


King James Bible
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;


Holman Christian Standard Bible
Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many.


International Standard Version
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up and causes you trouble, or many of you will become defiled. 


NET Bible
See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God, that no one be like a bitter root springing up and causing trouble, and through him many become defiled.


Aramaic Bible in Plain English
And be watchful, lest anyone among you be found lacking the grace of God, or lest the root of bitterness produce vines and harm you, and many be defiled by it,


GOD'S WORD® Translation
Make sure that everyone has kindness from God so that bitterness doesn't take root and grow up to cause trouble that corrupts many of you. 


New American Standard 1977 
See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;


Jubilee Bible 2000
looking diligently that no one deviate from the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up impede you, and thereby many be defiled,


King James 2000 Bible
Looking diligently lest any man fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;


American King James Version
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;


American Standard Version
looking carefully lest there be any man that falleth short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you , and thereby the many be defiled;


Douay-Rheims Bible
Looking diligently, lest any man be wanting to the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up do hinder, and by it many be defiled. 


Darby Bible Translation
watching lest [there be] any one who lacks the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble [you], and many be defiled by it;

English Revised Version
looking carefully lest there be any man that falleth short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby the many be defiled;


Webster's Bible Translation
Looking diligently, lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up, trouble you, and by it many be defiled;


Weymouth New Testament
Be carefully on your guard lest there be any one who falls back from the grace of God; lest any root bearing bitter fruit spring up and cause trouble among you, and through it the whole brotherhood be defiled;


World English Bible
looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it;


Young's Literal Translation
looking diligently over lest any one be failing of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up may give trouble, and through this many may be defiled;