Brick 1: Guilt (self-directed bitterness)
Brick 2: Anger (others-directed bitterness)
Brick 3: Greed (world-directed bitterness)
Brick 4: Jealousy (God-directed bitterness)
Any harboring of bitterness toward self, others, the world, or God erects layers over the roots, and a barrier around the tree, which delays the recovery process. If the barrier is thick, it takes longer to break them down before digging up the roots.
The “brick-breaking exercise” in my book, Freedom Vision, is integrated at the beginning of phase 2 (i.e., the forgiveness section). The bricks represent the most prevalent destructive emotions that prevent the individual from being known. The cause of these secondary emotions is the “agreement” (with the enemy) to harbor bitterness or the choice to hold a grudge.
The amount of bricks blocking access to the human heart is in direct proportion to the amount of unresolved traumatic events that remain unforgiven. The more unresolved conflict means the higher the barrier, which in turn translates to more soul work required in the session. The dissertation research reveals that this section ranges from 2.5 to 8 hours on average. This section begins just before the lunch break and in some cases goes until sunset.
Shalom and Restoration
A biblical theology of shalom (peace) includes the gospel story of creation, the fall, redemption, and restoration. In the Garden of Eden, the man had shalom with God, creation, himself, and others. In the fall shalom was shattered and severed his relationship with God, creation, himself, and others; Specifically, the four destructive emotions reflect how shalom was shattered. In the redemptive and restorative work of Jesus Christ shalom is restored in all four relationships:
Peace with God is broken with jealousy but is restored through thanksgiving.
Peace with others is broken with anger but is restored through forgiveness.
Peace with the self is broken with guilt but is restored through confession.
Peace with creation is broken with greed but is restored through generosity.
The ongoing need for the cancellation of debts is indicative of life on earth until God completely restores shalom in the new heaven and earth. Until “ultimate sanctification,” the body of Christ engages in experiential sanctification in gospel-centered community.
Figure 1-1
The Enemies of the Heart
The four core emotions in figure 1-1 are taken from Pastor Andy Stanley’s book, “Enemies of the Heart.” Stanley defines guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy in debt-debtor language; each one includes a loss and the following feeling of resentment toward the one who took.
After an incident occurs, the voice of guilt echoes, “I owe me.” Anger touts, “you owe me.” Greed whispers, “the world owes me.” Jealousy demands, “God owes me.” Freedom from these destructive mindsets takes place upon the cancellation of debt(s). When a person who feels wronged cancels the debt they believe they warrant, they are set free from bitterness; they have forgiven. After forgiveness, the chances of reconciliation between both parties increases significantly. When both parties cannot participate in reconciliation (i.e., death, incarceration, geographical location, etc), emphasis will be given on forgiveness from the heart.
In cases where the other party is unwilling to accept forgiveness or has become an unsafe relationship, then the emphasis on redefining the relationship will be encouraged. For example, if an employee stole money from a company, the business owner can forgive the worker and terminate the person’s employment. This is simply, “redefining the relationship” in a healthy legal way. When individuals are reluctant to redefine the relationship in a way that might offend or hurt others, they will be encouraged to leave those decisions up to the other individual (i.e., relinquish control over that person and allow them to feel hurt and/or offended).,
The foundational principles of heart protection
The concept of the bricks comes from the idea that there are barriers that prevent the heart from health. Chapter three included a biblical theology of the heart. In sum, proverbs 4:23 (NIV) captures the essence of why believers should guard their hearts against the four destructive emotions.
23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
The purpose of identifying and destroying these emotions/bricks is for a person to be set free from its destructive fruits.
Destroying the Wall
Bricks are hard and sturdy but easily break in half when hit in the right place. It’s hard for one person to knock down a brick wall. But it can be done in time - by concentrating on one brick at a time, the entire wall will be knocked down with a concentrated effort.
This session begins with a prayer where the participant asks the Holy Spirit to bring to mind all the instances of bitterness towards others, the world, self, and God. Facilitators should leave room for the Holy Spirit to convict the participant and ask for permission to offer help in bringing to mind possible missed individuals.
Destroying the Brick of Anger
Pray the following prayer to destroy the brick of ANGER:
Lord, I am angry at (name the person) for (name ONE INSTANCE of what they did/failed to do) because it made me feel (share the painful experience and the sadness/loss that resulted).
After you have let go of all instances of anger/bitterness towards one particular person, close out your forgiveness of that person by this proclamation of truth:
I choose not to hold on to my resentment. Thank you for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness. I choose to cancel this debt. I choose to forgive.
Bless (NAME of PERSON) who took from me. Bless them and change me. Give me your eyes for (NAME of PERSON).
In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.
Re-build with Truth
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20 ESV
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Colossians 3:8 ESV
Destroying the Brick of Greed (world-forgiveness)
Pray the following prayer to destroy the brick of GUILT:
Lord, I am bitter at (name one organization) because I believe they owe me (name one thing) and I feel (share the painful experience) for not having it.
After you have let go of all instances of anger/bitterness towards the world, close out your forgiveness proclamation of truth:
I choose not to hold on to my resentment. Thank you for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness. I choose to cancel this debt.
Bless (name of organization) who took from me. Bless them and change me. Give me your eyes for (name of organization).
In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.
Rebuild with truth
Reflect on the following truths. Pick one that resonates with your heart and declare it out loud.
A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched. Proverbs 28:25 ESV
Whoever is greedy for unjust gain troubles his own household, but he who hates bribes will live. Proverbs 15:27 ESV
But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 1 Corinthians 5:11 ESV
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 ESV
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35 ESV
Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38 ESV
One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. Proverbs 11:24-25 ESV
Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. And he said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” Luke 21:1-4 ESV
Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed. Proverbs 19:17 ESV
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21 ESV
As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 ESV
And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.” Matthew 10:42 ESV
Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV
But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? 1 John 3:17 ESV
Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor. Proverbs 22:9 ESV
Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered. Proverbs 21:13 ESV
“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:1-4 ESV
It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice. Psalm 112:5 ESV
And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” Mark 12:41-44 ESV
Destroying the Brick of Guilt (self-forgiveness)
Pray the following prayer to destroy the brick of GUILT:
Lord, I am bitter at myself for (name ONE INSTANCE of what you did/failed to do) because it made me feel (share the painful experience and the sadness/loss that resulted).
After you have let go of all instances of anger/bitterness towards yourself, close out your forgiveness of that person by this proclamation of truth:
I choose not to hold on to my resentment. Thank you for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness toward myself. I choose to cancel my debt.
Bless ME. Change me. Give me your eyes for ME.
In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.
Re-build with truth
Reflect on the following truths. Pick one that resonates with your heart and declare it out loud.
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:8-12 ESV
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 ESV
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 ESV
Destroying the Brick of Jealousy (God-forgiveness)
Pray the following prayer to destroy the brick of JEALOUSY:
Lord, I am bitter at YOU for (name ONE INSTANCE of what GOD did/failed to do) because it made me feel (share the painful experience and the sadness/loss that resulted).
After you have let go of all instances of anger/bitterness toward God, close out your forgiveness of that person by this proclamation of truth:
I choose not to hold on to my resentment. Thank you for setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness toward you. I choose to cancel that make-believe debt.
Bless YOU; change me. Thank you for your forgiveness. Give me your gratitude.
In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.
Re-build with truth
Reflect on the following truths. Pick one that resonates with your heart and declare it out loud.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. James 3:16 ESV
Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Proverbs 27:4 ESV
For you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? 1 Corinthians 3:3 ESV
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21 ESV
“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.” Exodus 20:17 ESV
For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge. Proverbs 6:34 ESV
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. James 3:14-16 ESV
Contentment
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 ESV
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. Philippians 4:11-12 ESV
Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 ESV
Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. … 1 Timothy 6:6-11 ESV
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Philippians 4:11 ESV
And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15 ESV
How does it feel to be debt-free?
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