What Are People's "Needs"?

I'm learning to be careful of saying, "I need..."  My friends and I had a discussion yesterday about whether or not people need affirmation, validation, confirmation, and some other words ending in "ation."  Most of us had said at one point or another, "I need to do THIS or I'll go crazy."  "I'm deployed, so I need to do this to keep my sanity."  Or, my spouse needs to give me this otherwise i'll have to get "it" somewhere else.  All kinds of ludicrous thoughts that have not been lined up next to the truth.

Here's the truth:

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus

(Philippians 4:19).

Most "needs" books will state that the #1 need of a man is Sex and #1 need of a woman is conversation.  My question is, if sex is a need, how can God meet the needs of the unmarried single individual.  If conversation with another human is a need, how can God meet that need when i'm in solitude.  Either that verse does not apply or sex and human communication is really not a need.  They are really nice things, but I am reluctant now to call them needs.

Many of us have been guilty of saying something like, "I need you to be...", "I need you to stop doing...", "I need you to..." etc.  If God is the only affirmation, validation and confirmation I need, then the affirmation/etc from my wife is just icing on the cake!  But I don't "need" it because my joy does not hinge on whether or not my wife is having a good day.  It effects me when she has a bad day, but when my joy is in the Lord, I can come alongside her in the midst of a struggle as an encourager - and vice versa.

That's why this song is so powerful and my daily proclamation:

 

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I asked my friend Karl about needs and he replied:

I might recommend reading the book Top 10 Needs, by Dr. David Ferguson, must order from www.greatcommandment.net.

A few brief thoughts are

- Anything God says to do to one-another (ie the one another commands) must imply that we need them.
- A need is something God commands us all to do to one another UNIVERSALLY, implying we must need it
- the Word is a transitive word, implying that we must finish the sentence in order to what . . . . "I need acceptance . . . in order to fill the acceptance capacity God created me to receive.  Do I need the worlds acceptance in order to glorify God, no.  So it seems we must finish the sentance I need . . . . in order to . . . .
- I like thinking of needs as capacities, God created me with a capacity for acceptance, enccouragement, affection . . .

What do you think?




All in all, I suggest that our #1 need is HIM.  All day, every day.