Community that fosters confession, repentance, and life together with others is a picture of life on earth as it is in heaven minus the confession of sin. A community that places emphasis on Kingdom of God-centric prayer will bear fruit in obedience, mutual confession, and worship that pervades every area of life. Similar to airplane parts, these six core functions are all crucial for kingdom/relational living. We (humans) were all created as relational beings.
For the first decade of Pastoral ministry, I preached on repeat: “We cannot apply what we do not know; we cannot know what we do not learn; we cannot learn what we don’t take the time/effort to study. Therefore, intake of Sound Doctrine is the highest form of worship in this local Church, which prevails over all other activities.”
This may sound like heresy, but I have moved intake of “Sound Doctrine” from first place to sixth. Allow me to explain. While attending school in New England, my family and I belonged to a two-year-old Church plant called, OceanPointe Christian Church. Nearly everything was different. The most consistent element to expect the unexpected. And the model was not to only keep people guessing and impressed, but rather, to cultivate creativity that pointed people to “some guy named Jesus.” Yes. We repeatedly introduced the morning with, “We talk a lot about a guy named Jesus…”
First and foremost, the most life-changing revelation I had was during a sermon series called “Starting Point” (originally written by Andy Stanley). Pastor Jeff talked about the problem with a “The-Bible-Says” philosophy; namely, that NOBODY in the first century talked like that. I was completely thrown off because that was my modus operandi for my entire life as a Christian. Was this blasphemy or truth? It wasn’t long before it dawned on me. It was true. The early Church didn’t have the Bible for hundreds of years, and their faith was not based on a book, but rather an event passed down by word of mouth. And without “the Bible” Christianity did just fine. I was never the same after hearing that! I almost cringe now when I hear someone say, “I only do what the Bible says” or “it’s all about the Bible.” If they have the same mindset that I had, that means looking down on the importance of prayer and the leading of the Holy Spirit. Last point on this: the Bible didn’t exist in the Garden, and it doesn’t exist in the New Heaven and Earth. It must be merely a means to an end for the glory of God here and now.
As of recent, I have found myself quoting less scripture in exchange for simply speaking the truth without citing the reference. Does it make any difference? Maybe not. Truth has been around since the beginning of time. The “Bible” has only existed since the invention of the printing press in the 15th century. Since all truth is God’s truth, I simply fire away and let it do its thing. I think of it as firing a weapon rather than defending the weapons legitimacy. If I owned a gun, and a dangerous person threatened to kill me and my family, I would not waste a second explaining the legitimacy of my weapon. I would simply use the weapon to deter the threat and at last resort eliminate it.
The second earth-shattering event during my time at OceanPointe was learning how to use “I statements.” It was a Sunday, and the sermon was over. Just before Pastor Jeff dismissed the congregation, he encouraged us to abstain from talking about the issue of others using “I” statements rather than “them,” “the church,” “us,” “we,” “you,” etc. When I volunteered to lead a small group, I was given “HomeGroup Guidelines” one of which was “Use I statements.” I quickly realized that my “confessions” were watered down with the use of “we,” “us,” “the Church,” and worst of all, “you.” When I started implementing I statements, I started owning my win. I actually value confession.
In my life, “you” statements have been detrimental to my relationships. I now choose to avoid them, regardless of the context: sermons, one-on-one coffee talks, small groups, and dinner with the family. Dr. Joseph Umidi says, “The number one killer of authentic relationships: giving advice prematurely.”1 I agree. Personally, my temptation to use “you” statements or what I call, “preaching talk” is rooted in the stronghold of sermon addiction. For years I indoctrinated myself with my favorite preachers. It changed the way I spoke to people. I had so many memorized sound bites it was equivalent to walking around with a loaded gun with the safe “off.” I was talking at people rather than fostering friendships and building relationships. I was inadvertently killing relationships.
Currently, I am involved in leading a men’s small group at work. There are 5-9 of us who have committed to meeting regularly. The group naturally fosters confession, repentance, praise, and worship of Jesus and have naturally been “doing life together.” This fresh start has enabled me to integrate my re-prioritized values. The group is dynamic; the age ranges from the late 20s to the late 60s. Some are passionate to study theology, and others simply want freedom from various struggles. I admire the advice of “Prof” Howard Hendricks who said, “pastors should not focus their ministry on teaching people how to do church but on how to do life.”2 Scott Boren captures the essence of God’s “Relational Kingdom,”
It’s about doing life together in authentic biblical community and undermining the assumptions of this world that create the anti-relational kingdom. Such small groups don’t accommodate the anti-relational kingdom. They confront it, challenge it, and offer a different way of living.3
Overall, my six ministry values are in order of sequence. I believe being surrounded by community (i.e. people who share a common interest) leads to confessions (i.e. ownership of struggles, sins, and confusion), which leads to prayer, exhortation, worship, and back to approaching truth found in scripture that God has given to the Church age in the form of a 66 book bound Bible.
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1 Joseph L. Umidi, Transformational Coaching: Bridge Building That Impacts, Connects, and Advances the Ministry and the Marketplace (Place of Publication Not Identified: Xulon Press, 2005), 54.
2 Boren, M. Scott. Relational Way: From Small Group Structures to Holistic Life Connections (Houston, TX: TOUCH Publications, 2007), 80.
3 Ibid., 79.
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