My wife and I decided to hike the stations of the cross. Prior to this retreat, I had never stopped to read exactly what the stations of the cross said. I always thought it was some Catholic thing that was not worthy of my time. I was wrong. The themes of death and resurrection as a way of life is the life of freedom! James C. Wilhoit said it perfectly in his book, Spiritual Formation as if the Church Mattered. He mentioned the “Gap illustration” that was popular in the 80s-90s. It was the illustration that showed a gap between man and God and how the cross bridged that gap. That image is seared into my conscience from the time I was a child. And it is a good illustration, but it just needs to be re-visted for all of us Gen-Xers who have mistakenly believed that all the cross was for was to bridge the gap. Wilhoit says,
The cross seems to become a means of transportation rather than God’s means of transformation. That was my story: running, doing, serving, but thinking very little about the cross on a daily basis (pg. 28).
Here’s how I would change that illustration. The Cross bridges the chasm between God and man. We walk across to the other side, then turn around, pick up the cross, and carry it with us on our new journey until the day Christ returns! I will need that cross every single day. I will need to die every day. I will need reminders of who I am in the crucified and resurrected Christ. That cross will serve as a reminder not only of what was accomplished but how I should live every hour in bearing my cross daily. The stations of the cross is a great reminder of the relevance of the stations of the cross in my life.
As we hiked up the trail, we felt our hearts palpitating and our lungs gasping for air. This is where my wife experienced victory. She felt the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. She decided to push through to the end. I was very proud of her for not simply the physical victory, but that here eyes were redirected to Jesus. She motivated herself by remembering that Jesus endured the road to Golgotha. He pushed. He fell. And he made it. This freedom cut both ways because I received the truth that I am free to allow my wife to struggle with those emotions with only the help of the Holly Spirit. My temptation is marriage has been to step in and help regulate irrational feelings and mitigate guilt and shame. But then I remember that HE is greater than I (in sms language: HE > i).
The group morning devotional time and silent meditation was the best yet. I went immediately into prayer with hands open and lifted toward God. I started a prayer of surrender, “Lord, I surrender my hands to you. I give my hands over to you that you would be able to demonstrate your tender loving touch to my kids through me. May my son only experience the touch of a gentle loving father from you, through me. Lord may my daughter only experience your gentle, loving touch through my hands. Lord, may my younger daughter feel your warm, loving touch through my gentle, loving tender hands. May my youngest son know what gentle, loving hands feel like through his experience with my hands. I kept this theme going throughout the entire ten minutes of silence and solitude at the shrine.
Looking forward to another day of rest and refreshment in creation therapy :)
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