So, think of something that is true of you, but NOBODY knows. Then ask yourself, "Why haven't I told anybody about this?"
Chances are you are AFRAID people will think differently of you. You live in fear.
Question: What's the problem with having secrets?
First off, secrets are an illusion because God knows all things so the truth is we simply fear men more than God. We fear created things over the creator. The first problem is deception.
Secondly, keeping secrets makes it impossible to be loved by God. Because we begin to rationalize, "If anybody really knew me they wouldn't love me." That is equivalent to saying God cannot love me through these people. Therefore, you keep yourself from being loved by controlling the information about you. You are afraid of rejection so you live a lie - as if that was a better option. The second problem is still deception.
Lastly, secrets keep us in bondage to fear. Every day we live in secret, we keep on the shackles of Fear, which dominates our minds and actions. When your spouse says, "can we talk?" you begin to shudder. "Does she know!?" "Why does she want to talk?!" These are just a few collateral effects of a secret life. Again, self-deception keeps us preoccupied with events that haven't even occurred.
Take a second to think of how many people actually know you? And to be 99.99% known is NOT to be known. The people that know you know 100% of the things you were keeping, not necessarily what you ate for breakfast 2 weeks ago. If we're giving away most of us, but holding back a part of our broken past or shameful hurts and regrets, we remain unknown. Does your spouse know you? If not, put all other types of pleasure on hold, because you will NEVER experience the physical/emotional benefits of marriage as it was intended to be experienced if you bring secrets into the equation.
Here's another collateral effect of the secret life? The ENEMY is all over you and in your mind. He uses your secrets to keep you down and perpetuate the guilt and shame that already binds you. It constantly plays over and over: "Don't let anybody know what you did. They won't love you. Your job will be on the line. Your spouse will NOT forgive you. They can't handle the truth." And on and on the garbage repeats in your head. That's bad news!
Personally, I didn't know how to live until I was set free from the bondage of Fear that was keeping me in a secret world. When God shed light on that darkness, I saw my need for a Savior, went bravely into battle and exposed all my secrets in one night to my wife. Past and present. Everything was put on the table and it was the most liberating experience in my 20+ years of being a Christian. I had never experienced that freedom before and it was addicting.
Freedom is as addictive as bondage. Free people can't help but start telling the world of the freedom they experienced. Sadly, people who have been set free can be viewed and treated in one of three ways:
1) A Savior
2) A Traitor
3) A Lunatic
I gained and lost a lot of friends when I chose to live free. Some people see it as a threat and they stray because they want to remain in secret. Others were drawn towards my transparency and vulnerability because they were sick and tired of living a life deception.
All in all, we don't pursue freedom from secrets, per se. We pursue Christ. Freedom is the byproduct of that endeavor.
Make no mistake about it. God wants you and I to walk in freedom. This freedom is made possible by grace through Faith in Jesus Christ.
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